Sunday, January 24, 2010

"I just want to cuddle up!" Who are you?

Masturyaker Dan

With tentative yakking plans in place, the river raging and the temperature in the 40's, Dan was looking forward to exploring one of his favorite trips, the Arboretum run. With little interest from others, Kent and Dan were set to to enjoy a long lost trip that had been avoided due to a downed tree. That was until Kent called it off, saying it was too cold and that this was a day
that he "just wanted to cuddle up"...or something to that affect. It was a balmy 45 degrees when Dan hit the the end of NORTHERN ILLINOIS!!! Not only is the executive board considering fines and or sanctions against Kent for his reckless cancellation, there have been rumors that a revocation of his man-card is being considered.

Knowing that although he did not suggest the cancellation of the trip, he knew that going along with it would possibly subject him to the same scrutiny that Kent will have to endure. Recalling how Boone and Stratton reacted when Dean Wermer advised them of their double secret probation in Animal House (toga party), Dan smiled at himself in the mirror, nodded and said: "MASTURYAK" . For those unfamiliar with the term please follow the convenient link to Urban Dictionary where my published definition can be enjoyed via the world wide web.

Much like a prom date-less high school boy who knew he wasn't going to get any, Dan knew that sometimes it is better alone that not at all and he headed off for a little "me" time in his single yak. The river was fast and high as well as clear of any downed trees. Unbridled by the wishes or desires of others and not having any performance anxiety, Dan guided his yak skillfully down the swollen river, almost becoming one with the Duper (spiritually becoming one, not like becoming part of the river like someone in a previous blog entry did) . As he exited the river, he once again reminded himself of what he and his fellow yakers have always known: when the river is high you need to take advantage of it no matter how stupid the rest of the world may think you are.

I can only hope that any possible suspension levied against Kent does not jeopardize his streak.

Pictures: Dan and Chloe before trip, Solo Dan, inlet at Community Park (note how high the water is)

No comments: