Sunday, April 13, 2008

Duper boys, Jim...not the Polar Bear club!

April 2008. Kent got month 29 completed in Captiva Fl and Dan took advantage of the 60 degree weather last weekend. Pat, however, had not kept his streak up so out we went into a dreary, dank, drizzly 40 degree day. This would also give Pat the opportunity to christen his newly received yak. Jim, a one time Duper veteran from years ago, scurried out to Dick's and bought a matching cute! Did you get the "lover's discount"?
The 1st photo shows Pat daintily entering his kayak while Jim (notice the light blue jeans) awaits his turn. Jim, so anxious to join in the fun with Kent and Pat in the river, attempted to enter his kayak much like one would plop down into their favorite recliner or a bean bag chair. You guessed it..... DOH!!! Holy SH&T!!! Like a bull in a china shop, Jim plunged headlong into the icy cold Duper. I know the effects of the ice cold Duper on my frozen digits. I can only imagine the frightened turtle-like experience that must have been taking place within Jim's soaked jeans (notice the dark blue jeans in photo 2). I am pretty sure Pat's hysterical laughter didn't make Jim feel any better as sat on his ass in the middle to the river.
To Jim's credit, he went home, changed and joined us for the majority of the trip. The cocky, confident attitude was a little subdued but he stuck it out nonetheless. Other than the exciting beginning and our 1st ever 4 solo yak voyage, nothing too exciting to report. A couple hawks, some deer and our friend the owl (yes an owl in the daylight) were the wildlife highlights. Oh, yes, the last photo? A rare picture of the author and photographer with a smirk that seems to say: "Damn, rookie!"

Saturday, April 5, 2008 it wrong?

Masturyak: Noun The act of giving oneself pleasure via a solo kayak trip.

Kent did it with himself a couple of weeks ago (and called me while doing it!) and he said he has never experienced anything like it. So with the weather giving us the year's first glimpse of spring I decided to give masturyaking a try. Down to Churchill Woods Forest preserve and the up stream paddle on the east branch. Not only did I extend my consecutive kayak streak to 29 months, I was able to do something I have not done for a long time.....paddle wearing only a t-shirt and no gloves. Now I am pretty sure while Kent was masturyaking he was not man enough to only wear a t-shirt (no one can see your legs anyway).

The freedom the sunny 60 degree weather gave me inspired me to go further than I have gone before....into virgin territory as it were. Now here was my dilemma. I know the initiation ritual for Duper virgins (I helped come up with the routine, for crying out loud!) but how do you handle virgin territory on the river? Well I took it upon myself and since I was masturyaking anyway, I administered the initiation ritual to myself. I know, you are probably mumbling to yourself right now: "how could you possibly pull that off?" Let's just say I may not be able to sit down for a while and I heard some noises coming out of me that I never would have believed were possible.

Let's hope spring has sprung and the Duper boys can be reunited for some more exciting trips on the river we affectionately call "the Duper."